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I Am the Face of Domestic Violence

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From a father who was abusive to her and her mother, to a husband that was the same way. A woman finally steps away and stops the cycle. "You're ugly, and stupid, and you'll never amount to anything!" Can you imagine saying that to your daughter, or your wife?

Most children have fond memories of childhood,

Not me. 

While I was growing in my mommy's tummy I could hear her voice. She would read me stories and tell me every day how much I was loved and how she could not wait to meet me. 

My dad on the other hand was a different story. He always sounded angry. He often yelled at my mom and told her he should beat her eyeballs out. 
She thought one night she was going to lose me. I could hear my daddy's voice. 

When he finally calmed down he told her this was her fault and how everyone loved him. She made him angry and caused him to abuse her. 

Things were calm for a few months and one sunny summer day I was born. My mommy cried tears of joy! My dad seemed happy but left shortly after and did not return until it was time for me to go home. 

Time passed very quickly and it was school time. I could not wait for school. There was no yelling or cursing there and no one broke things when they were angry. 

It was often difficult to concentrate because I was afraid to leave my mom home alone. 
What would happen to me if he finally kept his word and killed her? 

My mind often drifted to the events that occurred at the house. I looked around at my classmates and wondered how many of them ever hid in a closet with their mother covering their head because their dad was angry. 

His girlfriend came to the house to expose their affair. In a violent rage he picked up rocks and broke every window in the front of our home out. He convinced my mom it was her fault she made him have an affair. 
I watched my mom withdraw from family and friends. 
She was a beautiful young woman when I was born and over time she just stopped caring. Her hair was often not brushed and she just seemed to give up. 

I could hear her cry at night when she thought everyone else was asleep. 

My dad began to drink more and had an addiction with women. He convinced my mom all men do it and it is only natural. 

He loved beautiful women. He reminded her she was not the most beautiful woman. 

How could my mom not be the most beautiful woman? She gave birth to his children! Does that not make your wife the most beautiful woman in your eyes? 

My mom was always so nervous. She knew what my dad's truck sounded like coming down the road and would often panic when she knew he was close. If things were not as he had asked she knew he would be angry. 

My mom got really good at being dishonest. I often wondered how she could lie to him. When he found out the truth he only abused her worse. I guess in her mind she thought she was protecting herself from the abuse. 

When my dad was mad he was mad all over. He smashed chairs, threatened to run her head through the tv, beat our animals. The list goes on! 

I hope by now you have a very vivid picture of what we lived behind closed doors. 

Today, I struggle with depression and take meds. I have been in therapy and am learning what to do with my own anger. 

Many years later my mom finally got the courage to leave but unfortunately the effects of domestic violence are lifelong. 

If you are reading this and are in this situation, please get out. 

I commend my mom for finally finding the courage to leave but only wish she would have done it sooner. 

I am the shattered face of domestic violence. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra-Om7UMSJc




https://www.purdue.edu/police/assistance/tip/domestic.htm#patterns

 

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